VIGILS: Arising from Darkness

        There is a field of indigo blue at the far reaches of the horizon. There is a lake, whose still, glass waters gently lap at its edges. There is a forest of trees, which call forth a barely audible chorus from the winds of time. There is a string of moonlight that falls along only the thinnest edge of things to suggest form upon form. There is a bell that rings out from an unseen tower, and a flock of birds that scatters from the skeletal branches of a giant oak tree. There is the metal latch of an old wooden door, and then the footsteps of a monk on a stone pathway across a cloister garden. He makes his way to the gate where the world will heave itself in two; split itself into this and that – light and dark, day and night, confusion and wisdom, sorrow and joy.

Vigils is the first hour of the monastic day, when monks and nuns across the world rise in darkness to break the long silence of night with the sound of chant. This is the night watch at the gate between darkness and light, night and day, silence and sound. Its name and origins can be traced back to the Roman military tradition of soldiers spending three nocturnal hours in vigilia – on the night watch. St. Benedict, in his Rule, prescribed the hour of Vigils as the first hour of the Divine Office, at one or two o’clock in the morning, depending on the time of the setting sun. Vigils was to be chanted and the remaining time before daybreak dedicated to study.

As our day emerges from darkness and slumber, we acknowledge that our lives also emerge out of a vast universe, visible to us in the night sky above. We are humbled, even at times fear-struck, by the sheer power and magnitude of nature. Yet, we realize that we are not separate from it; that our bodies are composed of many of the same elements as that distant star or towering mountain peak.

In the darkness and silence of night, we encounter our doubts and fears. If we face them openly; if we look and listen more deeply, we find the darkness also holds their counterparts: trust and confidence. We learn in time to hold contradictions: we are utterly eclipsed by the power and magnitude of nature, and yet we are completely at home within it. This deeper sense of being and belonging unflinchingly within the larger cloth of the universe is our natural state. It is what we often lose sight of when we get caught up in the struggles of daily life. And so, Vigils is the hour of setting an intention – through even a few minutes’ pause, reflection, or meditation: May I not get lost down the rabbit hole of the practical demands of this day; may I hold this larger perspective when the going gets tough. Indeed, a practice of the hours is an invitation to weave points of intersection throughout our day, where our more limitless, larger sense of being and perspective can break through the ruffled surface of our busy lives.

Vigils for me is intertwined with the morning routines of preparing my mind and body for the day: the dark hallway walk to the bathroom to wash my face and shave; the soft light that glows above the bathroom mirror. The sounds and movements that break the silence and stillness of my night are not Gregorian chant, but they are every bit as sacred when graced with my intention: the percolating coffee pot, the knife spreading butter across a piece of toast, the textural dance of the toothbrush across my teeth. As I rise from a brief period of meditation and make my way out the door, I remember that just as my life arises out of this vast universe, out of the night arises this new day. I cannot know if it might be my last; and so, may I remember what matters; may my words and actions be worthy of my truest intentions; may I hold this larger perspective throughout whatever this day presents.

Contemplate

• Where and when have you experienced a sense of being "at home" in nature and the universe?
• What textures or qualities of this hour of the day do you notice and feel? How does this hour lend itself to feeling connected to a larger universe and sensing a larger perspective?
• What practices or routines are (or might become) your practice of Vigils? How might they help you to begin your day connecting with a larger perspective